Ghouls Night Out
by Loridhhp
Summary: Here's a Halloween themed humorous moment, as Lorelai and Emily bond over Chinese food and flesh eating zombies. At least one chainsaw wielding psycho and a killer clown meet their match in Emily Gilmore! Good times! Read. Laugh. Review. Thank you.


**Okay, this is for the reviewer of "Heirlooms" who wanted something lighter to read from me. Just to prove I actually have a sense of humor and can bring on the fun, here's a little Lorelai and Emily oneshot about bonding as only a Gilmore can! So enjoy this bit of Halloween fun and please review so I can do the happy dance! And remember...when things get rough, send in the clowns!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Rats! Amy Sherman-Palladino does. Lucky, lucky woman.**

**Ghouls Night Out**

Lorelai was bored, so bored in fact that, if she didn't do something fun soon, she was going to lose her mind! Ever since Rory graduated from Yale and hit the campaign trail with an online magazine covering Barrack Obama, she rarely saw her daughter. Who knew Obama would become a presidential candidate! Lorelai figured that Rory would be gone for a while and come home. Now, sixteen months later, Rory was busier than ever. With Election Day fast approaching, Lorelai knew she wouldn't see her until Thanksgiving. It had been too long and she missed her.

She had an idea, a delightfully scandalous plan, that she hoped would bring her closer to her mother. She continued going to Friday Night Dinners at her parents' house, even managing to persuade Luke to join her. Things seemed to be doing better, but she knew there had to be a way to get her mother to let down her guard and really connect with her. Richard would tell stories of how spunky Emily was in her youth, how full of life she was. She just had to find a way to get her mother to relax and have fun.

The one time that Lorelai remembered her mother actually having fun was the impromptu Bachelorette party she arranged the night before her parents renewed their wedding vows for their fortieth wedding anniversary. She purposely made her mother's rum and cokes very strong and Emily was plastered! She'd never seen her mother laugh so hard! She had no idea her mother had such a riotous sense of humor! Oh how she wished her mother could just stay that way, all pretentiousness aside, enjoying life again.

So Lorelai grabbed her jacket and purse and set out to carry out her devious plan. Loneliness breeds desperation, and Lorelai needed her mother to make that loneliness go away. Halloween was days away and since Luke was closing the diner, and refused to participate in her merriment anyway, she decided to enlist her mother to help her celebrate the scariness that is Halloween! If anything, she would enjoy getting a rise out of her mother. They were getting quite good at teasing each other without taking offense. Maybe it was a part of their healing process, a small step towards ultimate forgiveness.

Lorelai pulled into her parents' driveway. She was so happy that her father decided to go in on her plan. He was actually thrilled that she wanted to spend time with her mother. He made sure that they had no plans for the evening, telling Emily that Lorelai was stopping by. Emily was so surprised by the prospect of a mid week visit from her daughter that she gladly kept the evening free. She secretly hoped that Lorelai was taking initiative in trying to improve their relationship.

Lorelai rang the doorbell and was escorted inside by the latest maid. Instead of handing the puzzled woman her coat and purse, she kept them and strolled into the living room. Her father sat sipping a drink as he perused the newspaper. Her mother was absorbed in a book. She looked up as Lorelai entered.

"Hi Mom, Dad," Lorelai greeted cheerfully. "You ready Mom?"

"Ready for what," Emily inquired, placing her book on the side table.

"For dinner," Lorelai said. "I'm taking you out tonight, just you and me."

"Richard, you didn't mention that Lorelai was taking me out for dinner," Emily scolded mildly. "I'm not dressed to go out."

"Must have slipped my mind," Richard replied, giving Lorelai a playful wink. "Aren't you glad that Harriet has managed to burn the roast?"

"Oh my God," Emily gasped. "Is THAT what I'm smelling? Unbelievable!" She trotted off into the kitchen and began yelling at the cook. "Harriet! How many times have I told you to monitor the food in the oven! It most certainly isn't going to remove itself from the oven when its finished cooking! Get that look off your face! Are you TRYING to burn down my house? Take this charred roast outside before it sets off the smoke detectors! The last thing I need is the fire department at our doorstep. Fix Mr. Gilmore whatever he wants to eat. I'm going out."

"Wow. Mom's on a roll tonight," Lorelai whispered to her father.

"This is the third cook this week," Richard stated, folding his paper. Emily marched back into the living room.

"Richard, please make sure you fire her when she's finished for the evening," Emily said.

"Yes, dear," Richard replied, getting up to fix himself another drink. "I'll phone the agency to send a replacement first thing in the morning."

"Thank you Richard," Emily said, giving him a wry smile. "I'm going to change into something more suitable. I'll be right down."

"Mom, you don't have to change your outfit," Lorelai stated. "You look fine. Really. We're not going anywhere fancy."

"You're not taking me to Mc Donald's for dinner, are you," Emily inquired, raising her eyebrow. Lorelai laughed.

"No Mom," she replied. "There will be no eating out of anything made of paper or cardboard."

"And I will not order anything by speaking into a giant clown's head," Emily said, pointing a finger at Lorelai, as she gathered her purse and coat.

"Really? Cause you never know," Lorelai said in all seriousness. "That clown could have a family of little clownettes to support and who are we to deprive him of his means to earn a living? Clowns are people too, you know."

"Yes, I'm aware," Emily smirked. "I've certainly employed enough of them over the years."

"Touché, Mom," Lorelai said, grinning. "Don't worry. I promise there will be actual tables with tablecloths and real wait staff. It won't be as upscale as you're used to, but it will be fine. Although the giant mechanical mouse and friends stage show should be very entertaining."

"You're kidding, right," Emily asked, buttoning her light coat.

"Yes Mom," Lorelai replied, leading her mother to the front door.

"Have fun, and no picking up strange men," Richard said, kissing his wife.

"It's two days till Halloween Dad," Lorelai stated. "There are strange men all over the place. Don't worry. I'll bring her back in one piece, unless we run into Freddy, Jason, or that freak with the chainsaw."

"Very well," Richard nodded. "Just make sure they leave all the bagged body parts on the back patio. I don't want the neighbor's dogs sniffing around."

"Richard! Don't encourage her," Emily said, giving her husband a playful slap on the arm.

Just have fun, my dear," Richard said smiling. "I'm going to spend a quiet evening with the classics."

"Sounds exciting," Lorelai smirked. "You enjoy your Russian authors. I'll bring Mom home before she turns into a pumpkin."

Emily opened the door on the passenger side of the Jeep and wrinkled her nose. There were empty paper coffee cups, candy wrappers and fast food wrappers strewn about the floor. Lorelai climbed in the driver side and began shoving the items into a plastic bag. She tossed the bag on the back seat and fastened her seatbelt.

"Your car is appalling Lorelai, really," Emily said, pulling a tissue from her purse and wiping petrified French Fries off the seat and then placing a handkerchief down before sitting. "It smells like the back of a garbage truck in here! Don't you ever take your car to a car wash? They even vacuum the interior for you."

"Sorry," Lorelai muttered, pulling her perfume bottle from her purse. She spritzed the inside of the car a few times. "I don't have time to go to a car wash. I've been busy."

"Wonderful," Emily exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "Now it smells like a very fragrant garbage truck."

Lorelai sighed and started the car. This was going to be work. Maybe after a few drinks with dinner, Emily would lighten up. She hoped so since, as the designated driver, she wasn't imbibing tonight. She purposely planned it that way. They could have very easily taken her mother's car, but Lorelai was on a mission. She wanted her mother to enjoy tonight.

A few minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant Lorelai had chosen. They entered and waited for the hostess to seat them.

"I can't believe you brought me to a Chinese all you can eat buffet," Emily marveled.

"What? They have tablecloths and real napkins," Lorelai stated, as they followed the hostess to their table. "They also have forks, spoons and chopsticks. It's not that uncivilized. Not everything here is a finger food."

"It's a buffet Lorelai," Emily hissed under her breath. "Do you know what kind of people eat at buffets?"

"Uh…hungry people," Lorelai guessed, hoping this conversation was not about to take an ugly turn. "Mom, it's fine. The food here is really good. Live a little! Get your hands dirty once in a while. It won't kill you to actually pick up a riblet and start munching."

"Maybe you enjoy food consumed in your car or wrapped in paper, but I prefer to use utensils," Emily scoffed, as they got up and headed for the buffet tables. "I like my food prepared the way I like it and served by a waiter. These sneeze guards do very little in protecting against diseases and germs from the hoards of grimy hands digging through the contents of each pan. It's unsanitary."

"Mom, relax for once," Lorelai sighed. "You're not going to die. I just wanted to share something I like with you for once. Take a walk on the wild side. Grab some chopsticks and dig in. I miss doing this with Rory. We used to have so much fun. I want you to get to know me a bit better, that's all."

"Alright," Emily said quietly, as she sat down at the table with her plate of food.

Lorelai set her heaping plate down in front of her and grabbed her chopsticks.

Lorelai dug into her food with gusto, while she noticed that Emily didn't have any finger foods on her plate at all. She smiled as she watched her mother daintily eat her meal with a fork and knife. They drank wine with their meal, Lorelai being very careful to limit her intake while encouraging her mother to have another glass. They kept their conversation light, asking simple questions in order to get to know one another better. Lorelai was actually surprised at her mother's varied interests and tastes. She purposely kept away from loaded subjects like her own failures. She didn't want to bring up the past between them and fight again.

"So Mom, you went to college, majored in history, and yet you chose not to have a career," Lorelai reiterated. "I don't understand. Isn't that the whole purpose of going to college? Well, besides the many opportunities to party down with the neighboring frat boys."

"There is more to college than partying, Lorelai," Emily said simply. "Yes, I was in a sorority and there were mixers, but I was focused on my studies. Of course, once I met your father, I did attend more social engagements, mostly to be with him, but I was never really into the college party scene."

"It was the sixties Mom," Lorelai prodded. "You mean to tell me that not once did you go wild and dance around with a lampshade on your head, singing Beatles songs off key at the top of your lungs into your beer bottle microphone?"

"No, but Sweetie did," Emily said, chuckling. "You remember my best friend Sweetie Nelson? We met in college. She was the nicest person, until you got a few drinks into her. Then she was a riot. I swear she was like two different people. She would say to me… 'Emily, you have to live a little! Life is going to pass you by, if you don't grab it and run with it!'"

"And did you? Did you let go and have fun," Lorelai inquired.

"In a way," Emily said, smiling. "Sweetie loved the arts. We would go to these little hole in the wall clubs and she would read her own poetry. It was quite surreal."

"You hung out with Beatnicks," Lorelai asked. "Did you smoke pot and contemplate how to change the world?"

"We didn't do drugs Lorelai," Emily remarked. "It wasn't about that. Yes, that culture was all around us, but Sweetie tried to show me that life was to be lived wholeheartedly. My, we used to laugh."

"So what happened, Mom," Lorelai asked. "If you were so carefree back then, what changed?"

"I grew up, Lorelai," Emily sighed wistfully. "I finished college, married your father, had you…I had responsibilities."

"You know, when Rory was a little girl, I had responsibilities too," Lorelai said, venturing into territory she had feared to tread. "I had responsibilities far beyond my teenaged years. I was supposed to be living it up, enjoying adolescence, but I was a mother and I knew my life had changed. Rory was my life now. I wanted to make a good life for both of us and I worked very hard, yet I made it my top priority to make sure Rory had fun. I wanted her to have what I felt was missing from my own life. I didn't want her to feel lonely because her mother didn't have time for her."

"I did what I thought was best for you Lorelai," Emily said, polishing off her glass of wine and ordering another.

"I don't want to argue with you about the past, Mom," Lorelai said defensively. "It's over and we can't change it. What's done is done. I just want to say that I'm sorry for hurting you and Dad by taking Rory and leaving home. Now that's she's flown the nest to have her own grown up life, I've had lots of time to think about my own. I miss her so much but…I miss you too, Mom."

"You do?" Emily was surprised and moved by her daughter's admission.

"Yeah," Lorelai said, her eyes misting over. "I wish I had a time machine, so I could go back to that time when you were young and carefree. That woman sounds like someone I'd hang out with, someone I could relate to. You know she's still there, somewhere deep inside you. Look at me! I got this crazy personality from someone in the family!"

"I believe it comes from your father's side of the family," Emily noted. "His cousin Amanda used to talk to her invisible friends and they would answer her. She also claimed that martians were conducting secret experiments on her, and because of it she had to wrap herself in aluminum foil to keep them from taking her organs."

"Whoa! Are you serious," Lorelai gasped incredulously.

"You think you're the only one in this family who can joke," Emily said, taking another sip of her wine.

"Oh my God! You scared the crap out of me," Lorelai gasped. "Well, now I know there's another side of you in there! I think it's time to let her out. Let's go have some fun Mom! Live a little! Screw the proper social graces! Let's grab life and run with it!"

"Why do I have the feeling I'm going to regret this," Emily said, dabbing her mouth with her napkin and placing it beside her plate. "Don't think I don't remember what you did to me at my Bachelorette party at your house Lorelai! Now that I think about it…it was YOU who changed the entire seating arrangement in my book! Of course! That kind of prank has your name written all over it!"

Lorelai said nothing, as she watched her mother's revelation, but a huge grin spread across her face. "Aw come on Mom, it was funny! You have to admit it! Besides, you weren't the only one who had too much to drink that night! I was grabbing life and running with it!"

"No, you were trying to give your mother heart failure," Emily scolded. "I think you get great pleasure in torturing me."

"Nah, I was just having some fun," Lorelai shrugged. "You remember fun, don't you Mom? What do you say we get out of here and go someplace fun?"

Emily thought about it for a moment. Her daughter actually seemed excited about spending some time with her! Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go a little crazy after all.

"Alright," Emily replied, smiling. "Why not? What do you have in mind?"

"I have the perfect place," Lorelai said, beaming. "It's a surprise. Let's blow this joint!"

Lorelai drove around Hartford and pulled up to their destination, an old building that used to be a hotel over a hundred years ago. As they walked up to the entrance, they could hear the sound of people screaming and laughing. They followed the crowd to the front door where they paid their admission.

"Where are we," Emily inquired. "It's very dark in there. Is this some kind of rave club? Because if it is, then I'm leaving right now."

"It's not a rave club Mom," Lorelai stated. "And how do you know about rave clubs, or do I not want to know? Come on, it'll be fun. Just stay close. I don't want to lose you to the creatures of the night."

"The creatures of the night? What in God's name are you dragging me into," Emily inquired, as Lorelai pulled her into the darkened doorway.

The interior was dimly lit and had the atmosphere of a sideshow. There were hoards of people moving through what Emily discovered was a Halloween attraction…a haunted attraction no less! As they moved through claustrophobic hallways, costumed actors jumped out of the dark corners and grisly scenes. Zombies with hanging flesh and exposed entrails grabbed at passers by. A maniac with a chainsaw came running at the Gilmore women. Lorelai let out a shriek and bolted forward, leaving Emily in the clutches of the crazed psychopath. She reflexively swung her arm, smacking the fiend in the face with her purse. Down he went on the floor like a sack of potatoes! Lorelai burst into hysterical laughter and ushered her mother forward.

In another room, a hospital was set up with mad doctors experimenting on their live victims. Body parts lie on tables and blood spewed from severed limbs. A stray mental patient jumped out at Lorelai, who yelped and clung to her mother.

"Mommy, don't let the bad man get me," she whined. Emily let loose with uproarious laughter and Lorelai joined in.

"This is truly revolting," Emily said, pushing forward in the crowd of screaming people. "If one more oozing, rotting, psychopath jumps out at me, they are going down."

"Come on Mom," Lorelai said, jumping as yet another creature popped out of the darkness holding a severed head by the hair. "You have to admit this is fun!"

"Oh yes Lorelai," Emily replied sarcastically. "I'm really enjoying the impending coronary or stroke due to getting the life scared out of me. I think you're having more fun watching me get attacked!"

"Yes, actually I am Mom," Lorelai said smiling. "I am having the best time watching you take out your anger on these zombies. We're having fun, Mom…living in the moment. Just let go and enjoy it! It's our time now, you and me, the world's greatest dysfunctional mother/daughter duo."

Emily took in the sheer joy on her daughter's face and she was filled with hope. Maybe things could change between them. They walked down another corridor and were suddenly assaulted by a gang of crazed clowns. The combination of twisted painted faces, sharp demonic grins, and insane cackling, caused Emily to snap. One painted ghoul jumped out in front of her. She let out a startled yell and punched that clown right in the gut. He fell over, tripping on his giant floppy shoes and Emily continued her assault, hitting him repeatedly with her purse. Lorelai had to pull her mother off the clown to keep her from being arrested. They both ran through the rest of the haunted hotel until they found an exit. Once outside, they both burst out laughing until they were gasping for air and tears were running down their faces. They walked arm in arm to the car.

"I can't believe Emily Gilmore nearly got arrested for beating up a clown," Lorelai gasped, wiping her eyes. "What will the ladies at the DAR think?"

"Who cares," Emily exclaimed. "He completely deserved it!" They both laughed again.


End file.
